Viva La Vida
by Summersetlights
Summary: "Did you erase me from your memory? Did you ever love me at all?" -Eli's reaction to that. /complete fluff/


**_Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi._**

**_This is in Eli's p.o.v. And this is also during the scene where Clare is like, "Did you erase me from your memory? Did you ever love me at all?" _**

**_So, on with the story! :)_**

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><p>Viva La Fucking Vida.<p>

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Well, without the 'Fucking' part, of course.

Live the life. It's a nice phrase and saying, one that lifts one up. Hell, it's a great saying. Because really, who wouldn't want to live the life? Who wouldn't want to live the "special" life that they want? A life that has been in your dreams and hopes for as long as you could remember. One that could keep you totally satisfied, leaving you hungry for nothing. Who wouldn't want that?

But it's hard to live the life when you don't know how to. And it's especially hard when you have the most beautiful girl yelling at you. The girl that you're so in love with. Because sure, she may have broken you, but she's the most stunning creature that you've ever met. And you know that no one else could ever measure up to her. You know it in the pit of the hole in your stomach; the hole that she dug.

"Did you erase me from your memory? Did you ever love me at all?"

To one, that seems like a simple question. For some, like me, it's hell. For me, it's not a yes or no answer. It's not a smile and nod kind of answer. It's a question that has dug itself into my skin and I don't want to know what the answer _could_ do to me.

_Will_ do to me.

And that's why I'm staying silent. Which, if you have truly gotten to know me, you'd know that keeping silent is almost impossible for me. But right now, it seems easy. Maybe because no one else is talking. Or maybe it's because I can still hear you yelling. It could possibly be both. But I think it's because I can't feel. And now, don't get me wrong, if you were to slap me I'd feel it. If you were to hit me with a baseball bat I'd definitely feel it. I just can't feel the words. I won't let myself feel the words.

If you want a cliché line, I'd tell you that my heart was frozen. If you wanted me to use my own words, I couldn't tell you anything.

Because, as I said, I can't feel anything.

I can't feel anything because you broke me, Clare Edwards. I can't feel anything because all I see is you and all I _want_ to see is you.

I've built my life around you. That wasn't the best decision, trust me, I know. But I can't let myself regret it. I can't let myself regret it because you're screaming. You're screaming at me. Because you think I forgot you.

Oh, Clare Edwards, you have a lot to learn.

One couldn't forget you if wanted. You are...magical? Yes, cheesy. But you are. You are something else. And I, of course, mean that in the best way possible. You remind me of when I was little, on my first few days of school. When everything smelled new and I got this odd feeling in my stomach, like, nothing would ever be the same. And that's you. Nothing will ever be the same with you around.

I feel a light smile spread on my lips. And it feels foreign and strange, and I realize that it's been too long since I've smiled. And you're still screaming at me.

Man, do you have lungs!

I don't care what you're saying. And I'm not being mean when I say that, I'm just saying that what you're saying is completely false, therefore I will not listen. But I do one thing.

I turn around and I look at you. Your face is red and I can't help but fall even more in love with you. Your arms are swinging about, something that you do when you're passionate about a topic.

I find myself walk to you. I must say, that I probably look like I'm strutting, but that's certainly not the point. And the thing that tickles me, is that you are still yelling. I'm pretty sure that you are too into your little rant to notice me. So when I get in front of you, you are taken-aback. Your yells fall short and you drift off. And a long-missed smirk appears on my lips.

"Can you shut up?" I whisper. And I notice that everyone is watching silently. And I even notice Jake watching.

You nod and I smile, and I see a chill go through your body.

"Good."

And with that, with that last word, I kiss you. This kiss was one for the movies. The Notebook kiss?-which, is a movie I did not pick out to watch by myself-That kiss is wimpy compared to this. And I feel you against me and I feel everything. Fuck, I'm actually feeling too much. I feel the warmth from your body and I feel your soft lips. And they're softer than I can remember. And you are more beautiful than I remember.

And I realize something as I'm kissing you. I realize it when you tug on my hair and you whimper softly in my mouth.

I'm finally living my life.

Viva La Fucking Vida.

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><p><strong><em>I'm sorry if you don't like! <em>**

**_Review, please? :)_**


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